My name’s Erynn Vaehne and I’m a gay porn lover.
Actually, that doesn’t seem accurate. “Gay porn is my entire life.” There we go, that’s better.
I. Hot, Sticky Destiny was Staring Me in the Face
I saw my first pirated gay porn clip on some virus-riddled website about nine years ago when I was fifteen. It was less than ten minutes long and showcased two Falcon-style young men fucking on a lounge chair next to a pool. My immediate thought was, quite literally, “I have to make that happen for the rest of my life.” Gay sex was the hottest thing I had ever seen and it felt like hot, sticky destiny was staring me in the face. Needless to say I crippled a few computers visiting sketchy websites in order to feed my fledgling addiction. Skip ahead a year shy of a decade and gay porn is still the one thing I care more about than…well, anything.
II. Two Words: Vagina Dentata
Back in August ’10 one of my very favourite gay porn blogs, the Sword, held a contest that awarded two tickets to the GayVNs ceremony in San Francisco and VIP passes to the after party. The contest was fairly straight forward: selecting from the list of nominated stars, write a short essay explaining why you would or wouldn’t fuck them. I perused the list and thought to myself, “you should write something…but you won’t because you’re lazy.” (I know myself all too well). I found myself checking back to read the entries each day; by this time, I had told most of my friends about the contest, and they were all nagging me to enter. I waited until the night before the deadline before I suddenly decided, “fuck it, what have I got to lose?” I checked the list of porn stars again and one name jumped out at me…Brent Corrigan. I’ve been a (sometimes viciously) loyal fan of Brent Corrigan since the beginning of my porn journey, so I knew if anyone was going to inspire me, it’d be him. (Remind me to tell you the story of how I actually MET and drank with Brent in Seattle at a movie fundraiser).
If you scroll through the entries, down near the end you’ll find my entry entitled, “Why I Would Not Fuck Brent Corrigan.” My stomach was in knots the moment I submitted my entry. Previously, the idea of meeting all the porn stars and people in the industry I had admired for long seemed like an unrealistic fantasy. All of the sudden it was a possibility. I remember telling my BFF James that if I won, I was taking him (I’ll spam you guys with photos of him later, he’s beautiful, trust me).
Friday, September 3rd, 2010, I went to my mother’s house to have some wine, all the while anxiously checking the Sword every thirty seconds to see if the winners had been announced yet. I was sitting at her dinner table, halfway through a bottle, when I hit refresh and saw the blog post had appeared. “And the GayVN Ticket Winners Are…” My heart was in my throat but it sank when the first entry I saw wasn’t mine…until I noticed that entry was labeled the runner up. I scrolled a little further down…and honestly I think I blacked out for a few seconds. I remember suddenly seeing my mother and the friends we had over staring at me from across the table.
“I won.” I couldn’t keep the absolutely ridiculous grin off my face or the tremor from my voice.
My mother, being almost excessively supportive as she is, jumped up and hugged me, “I’m so proud of you!” How many mothers do you know would say that to their daughters because they won tickets to a gay porn awards show? By writing about her toothed vagina, no less! I called my friend James immediately and he answered, “NO WAY!”
III. “We’re going to San Francisco, baby!”
And to San Francisco we went. Now, that entire trip was a surreal, life-altering experience…but that story is for another post (this one is long enough already). At some point I’ll get around to sharing all the photos which tell a better story without me rambling on. But now we’ve arrived on the eve of my and Bryan’s introduction.
Zachary Sire of the Sword had been awesome enough to pass along tickets to Raging Stallion’s Man of the Year party to me and James. After a worrisome cab ride through the Tenderloin district of San Francisco, we finally managed to find the club. I was still convinced this entire trip was a dream and hanging out with all the Raging Stallion models and other porn people didn’t help. We were crowded in front of a stage where they had lined up all the RS models as they prepared to crown their new man of the year…
IV. The Part Where Bryan Spent an Entire Night Trying to Fuck my Best Friend
My fag hag senses must have tingled because I became distinctly aware that some dude was pushing up on my dear James, trying to introduce himself. I’m as fierce a mother bear as they come when my boys are involved, so I was fully prepared to tell this stranger off with a little teeth. Over the noise of the crowd I heard the words, “I own BoyCrush.”
Say whaaat? To James, that pretty much meant nothing, but to ME…well, I was familiar with BoyCrush and the edible boys on their site. I introduced myself and said I was a fan and I remember Bryan being surprised that I’d heard of them. Almost everyone we met that week was surprised to discover that it was in fact me, not my friend James, who was the gay porn superfan, Bryan included. We hung around Suite 181 for awhile longer, drinking and talking. Bryan as well as our other new friends kept expressing their surprise when I excitedly pointed out each porn star by name. Apparently I could identify more porn stars than half the people actually working in the industry, go figure!
I was determined to visit the Lookout that night because Chi Chi Larue was DJing, not to mention Brent Everrett was dancing. Having met Chi Chi a few times that week already, I wasn’t going to pass up another chance to hang around one of my idols. I think at this point Bryan was still determined to bang my friend because when I announced we were leaving he said he’d come with. I’m pretty sure Diesel Washington came with us, too. Huh…
Anyway, we caught cabs over to the Lookout and proceeded to drink the rest of the night away. Bryan and I kept nerding out over porn; he would tell me about some of his parody ideas and I had to stop myself from clapping excitedly like an idiot less I drop my drink. At some point during the night, Bryan asked if I’d be interested in writing for the BoyCrush blog (he also ask James and I back to his hotel, but, uh, that’s besides the point). That was a bit of a sobering offer and I think I sputtered something to the effect of, “uh, YEAH!” When we eventually parted ways, James and I stumbled back to the terrifying hotel we were staying at in the Mission district. “There’s no way, ” was my concluding thought regarding BoyCrush. Bryan was at least as piss drunk as I was and he’d probably forget all about asking me to write for BC.
V. Sometimes Drunk Offers Still Stand in the Morning
Funny that, eh?
I was still apprehensive about being too excited because I was convinced at some point the rug was going to be pulled out from under me. It wasn’t until Bryan flew me down to Phoenix for a shoot week in early December that I was finally certain all this BoyCrush business was for real. And I couldn’t be more excited. (I’m fairly certain no one saw me biting back tears the first time I stepped on set, by the way, thank hell!)
The blog as it is now is…well, kinda dead. James (because he’s not just beautiful, but also ultra tech-savvy) is currently helping me with a complete overhaul. The blog is getting its hair did and more. Hopefully by the end of the month we’ll be ready to relaunch and you all will get to see its shiny new look. I’ve also taken over Facebook and Twitter duties, so make sure to like and follow us respectively! I’m also doing my best to gently force the boys to sign up for facebook and/or twitter if they haven’t already. Being a fan myself, I know how much I love the chance to connect with the people I’m always jerking off to, ha! Also, feel free to follow me on twitter, too: twitter.com/erynnvaehne. I’m usually bitching about day to day life or, even more often, talking about porn.
I’m not entirely sure how to end this, so I think I’ll sign off with one of my favourite quotes.
“If every woman has one devil accompanying her,
then a handsome lad has seventeen.”
PS: here’s a picture just so you can put a face to the new name.
Me, topless & teary-eyed, first meeting Chi Chi LaRue in San Francisco.